When I first began thumbing through The Baby Name Wizard, I was fascinated. I loved that it focused on style and popularity instead of origins and definitions. I thought it added something very cool to the conversation.
Over the last few years, though, my opinion has changed. I think it’s because I keep meeting parents who use it as a source of names, instead of a book to help them decide between names they already like.
Here’s an example. I was at a wedding in Connecticut two summers ago. My husband and I were sitting at a table with several other couples, one of which had recently had a second baby. The mom was raving about the Wizard book. It had helped her choose her son’s name, which was one of the suggested sibling names for her daughter’s name. She went with that particular suggestion because the name was popular, but not too popular, which she was very pleased about.
Then her husband chimed in. He’d actually been pulling for a different name. Something funkier. Something that wasn’t even in the Wizard book. He’d just always liked it and thought it would make a fine name.
But in the end, the wife’s choice won out.
As I listened to both sides of their baby name saga, I remember thinking: “Well, kinda sounds like they made a mistake.” I didn’t have much of an opinion on either name, but I did have strong feelings about where the names came from. The wife’s preferred name was only in the running because it fit certain criteria. The husband’s preferred name was a name he loved. They had opted for the clever choice over the natural choice, which seemed like the wrong way to go.
Fast forward two years. The name the husband liked still sounds cool. It’s in no danger of becoming the next “it” name. The name the wife liked? Sure enough, it’s more popular. In fact, it’s rising at a pretty fast clip. Apparently, the Wizard book wasn’t able to see too far into the future.
The explanation for their son’s name is now: “It was the same style as my sister’s name, and it was only moderately popular–or at least it used to be.” The explanation isn’t: “It was my dad’s favorite name,” which sounds so much simpler and less contrived.
In terms of style, the siblings do have names that sound nice together. I can’t complain about that. (Though the husband’s favorite name would have sounded just as good next to the daughter’s name.)
Just like popularity, though, style and image aren’t static. They can change very quickly in some cases. So whenever you base your baby name decision on a factor like style, there’s always the potential for big disappointment down the line.
If parents already have a list of baby names they like, the Wizard book is a great tool for helping decide between them. But I think using the book to build your list is a mistake. The names you pluck from those pages are probably of no real significance to you, and you’d be choosing them based on superficial factors that are guaranteed to change over time. Even worse, the book can (and has) made parents second-guess their own first instincts, which is really a shame.
So that’s why I’m not a big fan of The Baby Name Wizard anymore.
2 Comments
I definitely prefer the reasoning that the parents like the name rather than they like the style of it, but in the end you can’t often tell the difference anyway. Many people will be revisionist and say it was because they liked a name even if they had other reasons, or will say it was for some far-fetched reason because they don’t want to admit they just liked a name that everyone else also liked (they want to stake a more valid claim on it).
I think Wizard is just tapping into a huge audience of people who do care more about what everyone else will think of the name than what they think of it. To a certain extent they are right (you don’t want to give your kid a name that will end up causing them a lot of pain because it’s really not in style), but it ends up just turning style over faster and ensuring everything ends up dated more quickly.
That’s a good point. I’m sure many people who inadvertently choose trendy names change their story after the fact to make the names seem more legitimate/authentic. (I would certainly be tempted.)
And I can’t fault the Wizard book for getting people to think a bit harder about baby names. I think that’s a great accomplishment.
I just worry that all its talk of image and style and popularity will convince people think that these are the most important factors to consider, or, worse, the only factors to consider. Kinda like baby naming-tunnel vision.