Many people want unique names for their babies. They believe unique names will help their children stand out. And they’re right–unique names do indeed attract attention. But is it the kind of attention parents should want for their kids?
Let’s try an analogy. A unique name is a pair of red stilettos. A common name is a pair of brown loafers. The stilettos are conspicuous and memorable; the loafers are plain and forgettable.
The big drawback to red stilettos? (Besides knee pain, back pain, sprained ankles, hammer toes, corns and calluses?) They’re a distraction.
The big benefit to brown loafers? They aren’t distracting at all. They make it easy for the wearer attract attention to herself, which is the way things ought to be. A person shouldn’t have to compete with her name (or her shoes!) for attention.
People named Marijuana, Renesmee, Bandit and Zealand-New are forced to walk around in red stilettos their entire lives. People named Isabella, Olivia, Chloe and Sophie, on the other hand, get to wear comfy loafers.
(Holds true for boy names as well–I just thought it would be strange to throw a bunch of boy names into a post about red stilettos.)
11 Comments
Actually, analogy-wise, I would consider “Isabella,” “Olivia,” “Chloe,” and “Sophie” to be ballet flats, not brown loafers. *g*
How about a post of good names inspired by shoes, like your chocolate post?
Ah, but I’m a red stiletto! My brown loafer of a name plagued me throughout my childhood years.
It’s one of the reason I think names that permit multiple nicknames are the safest bet.
@ Sam – You make a good point! I mean, sound-wise, that’s perfect — “Isabella” just sounds like it would belong to a little ballerina, doesn’t it?
But maybe ballet flats would make a better analogy. They’re trendy right now, just like Isabella and Olivia are trendy right now, and I’m sure one day they’ll fall from grace again.
So maybe names that have been more consistent–names like Elizabeth and Sarah and Anna–would make for better brown loafers? Hm.
@ C in DC – Nice idea! I’ll try that.
@ Abby – Totally agree about names with nicknames. I think it’s easy to underestimate the benefit of that type of flexibility.
I’m with you, Abby! I’ve always felt like a red stiletto-type, and my name just doesn’t match. No good nicknames for it, either…
@ Jamie and Abby – What red stiletto-names would you guys have chosen for yourselves (if you’d had the option)?
I think I’d have loved something truly unusual and maybe even a little bit clunky, along the lines of Leocadia or Candelaria. My mother once asked if I’d have really wanted a bizarre name, like Hephzibah, and I remember thinking that Hephzibah was pretty cool.
Part of it is style, part of it is heritage. Up until my generation, my mother’s family passed on family names. She’s Clarina, a name that I find fabulously different, even if I can see that it isn’t exactly pretty. If my parents had stuck with custom, I’d have been Irina or something along those lines. I think it would’ve suited me better.
Or maybe this is just a grass-is-always-greener question. The best option, I think, would’ve been to be Elizabeth or Margaret. I’m sure I’d have periodically re-christened myself Libby or Margo or Griet … but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
As a kid, I always wished for a long, ultra-feminine name: Arriana, Alexandra, Lelaina… I still love girl names ending in ‘a’, and if I ever have a girl, she will most likely have something similar. Shorter, though. :)
As an adult, I’ve realized that none of those names really fit me– Jamie is actually perfect. I’m not super-girly or fairy-like in personality or appearance… I’m… solid is the best/closest word I can think of.
Which does bring up an interesting question, sort of a chicken vs. egg thing: do our names end up defining/describing us, or do we define our names? I see lots of politicians, lawyers, high-up corporate types, etc. in your ’strange’ names lists… just as many as I see in the news about criminals and the like.
Maybe a name is really just a name, and doesn’t have any real effect on the person we become… maybe I’d be ’solid’ even if I’d been an ‘Arianna’. In which case we could all stop obsessing about making the ‘right’ choice for our kids… right?
@Jamie – Really good questions.
I’ve seen studies that link certain types of names with certain outcomes (e.g. career path, professional success). But it’s hard to say certain names caused these outcomes, because the names can be tied to so many other factors (e.g. class, age, region, race, education level).
As far as names defining us vs. us defining our names, I think it may come down to familiarity. If I’m not familiar with a person, I’ll look at his/her name for clues. Once I get to know this person, though, my relationship with him/her will influence how I feel about the name.
I should also note that the politicians, lawyers, businesspeople, etc., on my lists represent only a tiny fraction of all the people in those groups. The other people tend to have more common names. If you look at a prison population, though, you’ll see the proportions are quite different–many unusual names, and fewer common names. So my posts might be skewing your impression of things. (Sorry about that!)
In any case, yes–we should definitely stop obsessing about making the “right” choice. There’s no such thing as “right” (in the sense that there’s no such thing as a “perfect” name), and it’s never good to obsess over stuff anyway. :)