I’d like to hear what you guys think about this one.
Here’s the reader question:
My husband and his first wife named their son Adam. Their Adam is 25 and lives across the country from us. Now we are having a son, and Adam is my late father’s name and grandfather’s name. I always wanted to name my son after my dad. My husband says I can’t do that because of his firstborn son, and he can’t have two sons named Adam. But mostly, because it would upset his ex-wife. I don’t think I should have to forgo naming my son after my dad because of this. We rarely see his older son, so I don’t see what the problem is. My husband got to pick the name for our daughter and it meant a lot to him. This means a lot to me. His son said it would be all right with him, but his ex is livid at the idea.
And here’s Prudie’s answer:
Only three more sons to go—all named Adam—and your husband could tie George Foreman’s record for having sons who all share the same name. I hear from a lot of people who think other family members have “stolen” a name they wanted for their child. But while it doesn’t matter if cousins have the same name, it is bizarre to give more than one of your own children the same name. You husband already has a son named Adam. The older Adam may feel so disconnected (or is so laid back) that he says he doesn’t care that he could have a younger brother also named Adam. But your husband says he doesn’t want to give both his sons the same name. I agree the wishes of the ex-wife are completely irrelevant, but maybe your husband is trying to make her the heavy. You can honor your own family name by making Adam your son’s middle name. You could even flip your father’s first and middle names for your own son. I know Adam was the first man, but there have been many since them and you need to choose another name, because in your family, Adam is taken.
Later in the chat, someone recommended using Adam with a different middle name.
Prudie stayed put: “I’m against giving two sons the same first name, period.”
Me? I totally disagree.
Prudie’s answer pissed me off, in fact.
Prudie seems to be forgetting that that the wife’s opinion and family are just as important as the husband’s. If this mom-to-be wants to honor men on her side with a baby name, she should do so. This may be her only opportunity, after all.
The husband has to realize that his new family is not merely a continuation of his old one. The ex-wife’s opinion is irrelevant (I agree on that point) and the 25-year-old Adam is largely out of the picture.
In his new family, it’s his wife’s turn to name a baby. The name she wants is a good one. It’s extremely meaningful to her. (And it will be to the baby as well.) I see no reason why she shouldn’t use Adam as her baby’s first name.
How about you — are you on Prudie’s side, or on mine?